Going Down the Rabbit Hole
Remove the dust bunnies from your attention span already
Going down the rabbit hole is a 21st century idiom for wasting too much time online. You may justify this as research, trying to figure out some problem or issue you want to resolve, but instead you are just frustrating yourself. It isn’t a legitimate intellectual pursuit; you are wasting precious hours in getting lost on your phone. We all do it. Several hours every week, each individual in America subconsciously spends hours looking at meaningless content as a way to stimulate their senses. Instead of paying attention to serious matters and issues of substantive importance, they let the distractions by design take them for a wild ride down the whole rabbit hole. Sound bites and short videos of girls (bunnies) dancing in bikinis is what people preoccupy themselves with. This trope makes it sound like you are getting deep into something but instead you’re getting all the more lost as you dig deeper into worthless information.
The phrase has its roots in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Following a white rabbit, giving chase, she falls down an actual rabbit hole which leads to Wonderland. The reference has been used in the English lexicon for over 150 years showing up in movies like The Matrix and songs such as White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane. Ever since the advent of the mobile phone, people justify their online searches as a topic of interest when in reality it is in pursuit of a guilty pleasure. I lie to myself by using it as justification in the creative process when I’m constructing essays. Minimal research is needed but most of it dedicated to worthless pursuits of knowledge. Your mind time travels, your physical self remains, and you miss out on everyday life. Websites are purposefully designed to keep users engaged to manipulate their economy of attention. This is how they subliminally slip in ads and ideological propaganda. Going down the rabbit hole is as addictive as consuming any powerful narcotic.
When I go down the rabbit hole, I don’t do it for worthless trivia or pointless factoids, I dedicate 99.9% of my probing to learning more about famous rabbit and bunny references in American culture. Since the almighty rabbit is a pagan symbol for sex, this iconoclast is subconsciously scattered throughout American movies, advertising, and linguistic slang. The rabbit/bunny can be depicted as both good and evil. Let me spare you taking an individual trip down the rabbit hole and let me fuck you up with my findings.
Bugs Bunny. This animated character was created in the 1930s and voiced by Mel Blanc. His original name was supposed to be Happy Rabbit, but Bugs Bunny had better alliteration. It’s been speculated that his personality is based off Clark Gables. This wild hare makes a mockery of Elmer Fudd as he is ever elusive in Looney Tunes episodes. Nibbling on a carrot using his trademark “What’s up doc,” Bugs has evolved before his pre-WWII debut. Despite his cocaine and sex addictions in the 70s and 80s, the Bunny has been going strong starring in Space Jam: A New Legacy with Lebron James.
Peter Rabbit is a fictitious character that is featured in English children’s stories. Wearing a blue jacket, he goes on adventures getting himself into juvenile predicaments. He’s widely considered to be the first merchandised character having stuffed animals and other memorabilia fashioned after him. He’s known for his bouts of streaking and drinking tea. Cousins with Benjamin Bunny these two hell raisers love driving around the English countryside and chasing tail.
A Playboy Bunny is a playmate dressed as a cocktail waitress. It’s also the iconic symbol for Playboy enterprises. Working at a number of Hugh Heffner’s Playboy Magazine events, the Bunnies are tasked with serving drinks and cigarettes to acting as bouncers and flight attendants. According to Gloria Steinem these bunnies have been exploited for decades and are expected to cater to the whims of the male clientele. Despite the fact there’s a bunch of beautiful women providing services at parties, the bunnies go through a rigorous selection process. Having to perform such maneuvers as the bunny stance and the bunny dip, the bunnies are also expected to keep their weight in check to satisfy the ghost of Hugh Heffner.
Bad Bunny is a Puerto Rican rapper and is credited with making Latin music go mainstream in the United States. Having recently been selected to be the entertainment for the Super Bowl LX halftime show, he now pontificates to his American audience wearing a lady’s white dress and high heels. Omitting the United States from his 2025 tour, Bad Bunny has been sounding off and saying very bad things about ICE. Tom Homan has told Bunny to go back to Puerto Rico and hop off a cliff. He considers himself to be the baddest and even badder bunny than the evil bunny featured in the movie Donnie Darko.
A snow bunny is a hot chick that flaunts the winter lifestyle and fashion. Most of them are bad skiers but they make an attempt at winter sports for they can show off their luscious snow bunny asses in such mountain towns as Vail and Aspen. This TikTok trend is nothing more than upscale White or Latina women shopping in the mountain villages, while their idiot husbands and boyfriends hit the slopes. Wearing expensive fur coats these women wear tight revealing clothes underneath hoping to cuddle with a sugar daddy. They may come across as gold diggers, but I assure you snow bunnies are classy women who only date men their dad’s age. Procuring fine jewelry and fine white powder, these bunnies know how to make it snow in a mountain town.
Roger Rabbit is a comic book character brought to life in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? This toon has been described as goofy while rumored that him and his wife, Jessica Rabbit, fuck like rabbits. Though impressionable, he always shrugs off when somebody dangles the carrot in front of his face. Preferring to go to tuna town instead of Toontown, Roger always made memorable scenes with his sidekick Eddie Valiant.
A barracks bunny is a female soldier who has sexual relations with multiple male soldiers during off duty hours. Usually a 3 or 4 in the civilian world she rates as a high 9 on overseas deployments. Hopping past the fire watch sentry, barracks bunnies bring in 5 Guys hamburgers for everybody, then let’s 5 guys run a train on her. They may have the clap or crabs, but when you’re on a FOB somewhere in the Middle East and the ratio of guys to gals is 400:1, the barracks bunnies always deliver.
My rabbit stew recipe comes from my grandmother. Her rich and hearty recipe comes loaded with tender vegetables and potatoes. Cooking it low and slow in a crockpot the simmering effect makes the rabbit meat fall right off the bone. This warm and cozy stew is perfect in the fall season.
Olive Oil-Preferred cooking oil
Rabbit Meat-2-3 lbs.
Celery-2 cups chopped
Carrots-2 cups chopped
Garlic-2 cloves
Shallots-Sliced and diced
Salt and Pepper
Bay Leaves-3 leaves
Dry White Wine-1 Cup
Potatoes-I prefer Russet cut into 1-inch pieces
Chicken Both
All-purpose flour
Butter
Bunny Lebowski. The trophy wife of Jeffrey Lebowski and stepmother to Maude. Born Fawn Knutsen in Minnesota, she ran away from her family moving to California. Performing in pornographic films under the name Bunny La Joya, she owed significant debts to Jackie Treehorn. Telling the Dude that “Brandt can’t watch, or he’ll have to pay a hundred,” she eventually skips town traveling to Palm Springs.
The whole rabbit hole and nothing but the bunny burrow. Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s the Easter bunny motherfucker! Wear your rabbit’s foot for good luck when you go toe to toe with the evil bunny mascot from your rival high school. Never let the Trix Rabbit play tricks on you when he porch pirates your Amazon package off your doorstep. Silly rabbit. Trade your Tesla in for a VW Rabbit and take a road trip to El Paso. Always be suspicious of the guy in the bunny suit at the furry friends’ orgy. Go to Chasing Rabbits in Vail Village and heed Jefferson Airplane’s White Rabbit lyrics:
And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you’re going to fall
Tell them a hookah-smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
He called Alice
When she was just small.
In the parlance of our times, don’t go down the rabbit hole kids. It’s a timesuck that distracts you from actual productivity and makes you miss out on the finer things in life. Do something more constructive with yourself and go rabbit hunting. They’re small game and you don’t even need a license most of the time. Grab yourself a 20-gauge and kill enough rabbits to make a tasty stew. Getting exercise and fresh air outdoors by wasting rabbits is much better than staring at your phone on your couch. So, pull the rabbit out of your ass already and get busy living.
Brian Ss