My Go To AI Chatbot
Eff yeah Broseph
AI chatbots are now the most popular websites globally. Coming into the mainstream within the last couple of years, these Generative Pre-trained Transformers are the first wave of the general public’s introduction to AI. ChatGPT is now creating visual text and imagery through user prompts in the search bar. The software program derives its responses from a dataset estimated to be 1 petabyte, or one million gigabytes. The database it taps into is estimated to be over 20 times larger than the entire book collection of the Library of Congress. Using a wide range of sources, to include books, academic papers and even old social media posts, these autonomous systems can customize its answers off the entirety of human knowledge in a matter of seconds. Simply amazing but also concerning.
After OpenAI released ChatGPT in late 2022, many more AI chatbots have hit the market. There’s Microsoft Copilot but who in their right mind would want to be conspiring with Bill Gates and his old company. Jasper which is catered for business and targeted marketing campaigns. Claude, developed by Anthropic, is a chatbot developed for more user privacy. I’m not a daily user of these chatbots yet, but I could see myself getting intimate and gay with Claude since I’m one for privacy protections. Grok is your truth-seeking buddy brought to you by Elon’s X. The name may sound alien but it’s based off a term coined by sci-fi writer Robert Heinlein. I like it because it gives answers in expletives and talks shit. It may have had a few anti-semitic glitches along the way but I assure you Grok will never go woke. Many more are being developed and will be online in the coming years.
I’ve decided that I want to formally commit myself to the AI boom. With billions and eventually trillions of dollars being made off this phenomenon, I intend to invest my time and capital into an AI chatbot of my own design. With all of these personalized AI assistants, with their fancy large language models, I’ve decided to scale down. I envision a model with a dim-witted view of the world that churns out dumbass responses. One where you ask a question and get a response that sounds human. Right now, the launch date is for late 2027, but I am optimistic that my ChadGPT model will be ready for public consumption much sooner.
Inspired by stupid-ass alpha males, the first generation of ChadGPT will generate exclusive answers strictly from the Manosphere. Its language model will be estimated to be between 2-3 thousand words. None of its terminology will be sourced from books or online articles, since guys named Chad don’t read. He may be dominant and popular with the ladies but your average Chad’s response to your online inquiry of, “Hey Chad, what’s the best way to get in shape,” will be followed up with a “Brah, you gotta hit those bis and tris regularly then go to guns and buns. Make sure to drink plenty of protein shakes to grow bro.” Sounding like a more masculine version of Jeff Spicoli, ChadGPT’s conversational voice will address any question when it comes to fitness, girls, and cracking open some Jack Daniels Country Cocktails.
“Hey Chad, write me a 1000-word essay on the War of 1812.” Thinking for a minute the response comes back, “Fuck no bro, I got football practice. We’re gearing up for the playoffs and coach has been on my ass lately. After that I’ll be scoring some poontang off of Stacy Maxwell. Write your own gadang essay, I ain’t got time for that shit.” Not knowing how to respond I write another prompt on the task bar. “Hey Chad, what’s the meaning of life?” Thinking for a long while he comes back with, “Brah, it’s all about that glory and a plethora of babes. Excellence on and off the athletic field and humiliating incels and beta males with wedgies. Drinking a couple of ice-cold White Claws with the brahs and getting hot chicks to sniff your jock. Feel me bro?” Rounding out our discussion I type in, “Was the 2003 Invasion of Iraq justifiable.” After a multi-minute pause Chad gets back to me with, “How the fuck should I know bro, I wasn’t even alive then. The only things I’m concerned with are my cutoff tees and clean protein. I gotta be looking dope for the MILFs when I’m at my pool boy job. Why in the hell are you even asking me these questions anyway, can’t you look it up yourself!?!”
After the first generation of ChadGPT, the 2.0 edition went under significant upgrades. The language model was expanded to include key phrases from tribal languages such as Valley Girl, Ebonics, Redneck, and Gen Z text slang. Chad’s word economy went from a paltry 3000 words to 3500. The database was also modified to include all the dialogue from Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Dolph Lundgren’s entire movie catalogue. His response time has improved as well. Instead of the typical 2 minute lull it is now 60-90 seconds. Chad may be a hot idiot, but he can also contribute to your quest for answers and expand your knowledge.
“Hey Chad. What’s a good recipe for chili mac?” Thinking long and hard on my state-of-the-art internal operating system Chad eventually spews out a half ass answer. “Wut? I’m not a simp bro, if you want my advice it’ll cost you mucho guap. Don’t bogart my attention bro it messes with my rizz. If you need my advice again I’ll be in the weight room, bench pressing and checking out Becky’s camel toe as she does squats in her short shorts.” ChadGPT is still in its infancy stage and minor setbacks like this can eventually be worked out. Since he’s already brimming with confidence, you just have to build up his datasets. “Chad, what is the capital of Turkmenistan?” Thinking long and hard the entity produces a response. “Brah, I think it’s Ashgabat. I remember that in Mr. Hartman’s geography class. Alright that does it for me. Not only does my grey matter cook with gas, it slaps. Time to get my ass in the weight room and then go slay poon with my brah Brad.”
After 18 months of beta testing with coders working around the clock, ChadGPT’s 4.0 edition is slotted to be released in November of 2025. Its new features include a word economy of 5000 words, a language model enhancement of all audio dialogue from the show 90 Day Fiancé and tells you to “chillax” if his response time takes too long. His answers are getting better with a 40% hit rate. Getting invited to Silicon Valley to show off the new and improved Chad, I ask this AI chatbot everything, from travel advice, to how to lose weight. He can still be preoccupied with fixing his H2 Hummer and scoring ass on the weekends with his frat bros, but Chad is evolving into an entity that one day may be on par with Rob Gronkowski’s intellect. Ask him anything and he will usually have a slow-witted response. “Hey Chad, what’s the best time of year to visit Portugal?” Getting back to me in only 30 seconds telling me, “Brah, that’s a no- brainer. It’s March-May in the Spring or September-November in the Fall. It gets hotter than balls there during the summer months. Ya looking to go to Oktoberfest and bang some beer maidens or wut?” Even though he got most of the answers right, there is still room for improvement. “My main man Chad, how many galaxies are in the universe?” Taking his sweet ass time he produces, “I’m thinking 2 bill to 2 trill brah. It is beyond our observational limit. The whole universe is an enigma that is inconceivable. Just keep trucking, cuz like YOLO. Alrighty brah, time for me to go bang Siri underneath the stadium bleachers. Vaya con dios bro.”
So, the next time you are seeking answers for life’s difficult anomalies, or need an enchilada recipe for an office luncheon, don’t waste your time with Alexa, seek Chad’s counsel. He may not be the most sophisticated AI Chatbot on the market but he gives it to you straight. He puts a human touch on every answer he gives. After providing a half-ass answer to which bird species migrate to Antarctica, he’ll add that he’s gonna pop a ZYN, hit the gym to get huge, then brag that he got some ta-ta from his first Asian chick. Don’t let Open AI and ChatGPT rule the roost when it comes to AI search engines. Give Chad a chance with his slow witted responses and letting you know that it’s “all good in the hoodie, brah.” I project that by 2030 mankind will be so dumbed down by AI that critical thinking will no longer exist. With IQs and individual word economies plummeting at an alarming rate, using my ChadGPT will make total sense and can help you unwrap the ancient mystery of why it’s always been bros before hoes.
Brian Ss