The Upcoming 2026 Draft

"And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away"-Flock of Seagulls

Conscription. Where young men are drafted to fill the ranks in the U.S. Armed Forces. America did away with the draft in 1973 at the end of the Vietnam War, transitioning into an all-volunteer service. The all-volunteer Army held it together for thirty years but collapsed in the mid-2000s due to the protracted nature of the Iraq War. I personally witnessed the historical breakdown of the all-volunteer army during a tour of duty in Iraq. The Pentagon failed to recognize that their personnel didn’t take kindly to doing repeat and extended tours of duty with some lasting 15-18 months. With not enough troops on the shelf, and the Bush Administration realizing a draft would be political suicide, Washington decided to keep the vicious cycle going for Americans could avoid shared sacrifice and sit on their fat asses watching Survivor.

Creighton Abrams, who is widely considered to be the founding father of the all-volunteer force, designed today’s modern military to only fight short wars that only last a year or less. Once it goes past that threshold it becomes perpetual, and long-term occupational wars never work out. The Powell Doctrine was modeled after the Abrams Doctrine stating that if the United States needs to go to war it should do so with overwhelming force with a clear exit strategy. An entire army (roughly 540,000 troops) of volunteers can go in as the first wave but if second and third waves are needed then a draft must be reintroduced. This was a caveat which became part of the built-in checks and balances system put in place by Abrams in the 1970s.

Now we find ourselves at war with Iran and rumors of the draft are starting to persist. Sure, the Air Force and Navy are pounding Tehran from the air and sea but eventually you will need a large contingent of ground pounders to finish the ultimate objective of overthrowing the Ayatollahs. Proxy forces such as the Kurds maybe more appealing but at the end of the day you will probably need mechanized infantry and armored divisions to achieve any sort of tactical victory. The all-volunteer force was hollowed out by Iraq & Afghanistan and has been consistently demoralized by DEI, COVID-19, and incompetent generals and politicians. Sad but true. Who in their right mind would raise their right hand to take an oath of enlistment right now?

That’s where the draft comes in. Congress has the capacity to configure a fighting force through the Selective Service System. During WW2 we put 10 million men into uniform in only a few years. In Vietnam the draft boards inducted 125,000 young men a month, assembling 3 armies a year. Sometimes you need a national mobilization in times of war. And if the citizenry isn’t motivated enough to send their own kids, then maybe the conflict isn’t worth it. The overwhelming percentage of Americans don’t want to get involved into another forever war in the Middle East or with Russia and China. I believe we should have a draft because it would actually serve as a deterrent into getting us into endless expensive wars where the only victors are defense contractors. Using strictly an all-volunteer force again is like gambling with other people’s money. If there was the potential of somebody having their own flesh and blood potentially getting their flesh and blood splattered against a wall in the Middle East, then they would be forced to pay attention to foreign policy decision making. Democracy only works if the citizenry is alert and knowledgeable towards current affairs.

If it were up to me, we wouldn’t have a lottery system, we could easily recruit millions of American youths simply by targeting certain affiliations and key demographics. Let’s not necessarily include socioeconomics or gender in this argument. Regardless of if your rich, poor, man or woman, everyone should be subjected to the draft. I’d say anyone from the ages of 16-45 are fair game since there must be a disruption of civilian life to make it seem the country is at war. First off, we should go after the children and grandchildren of any person that was ever a shareholder in companies such as Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, Boeing, KBR, Bechtel, etc. Those who profit in bloodshed should have their own blood deployed to the frontlines. Next up I would go after legacy. If grandpa didn’t go to Korea or Vietnam, you get a point. If your dad had too much sand in his vagina to go fight in any war between the Gulf War to Afghanistan, you get a point. Those with two points would automatically get drafted. That alone would supply the draft boards with millions of bodies. And by the way, there’s no deferments for education or health reasons. If you a college boy who has ADD, and is fat and flabby, then the brown rounds will whip your cookie dough ass into shape for the showdown with Xerxes and the Persians.

To fill in the gaps we need to get creative. That’s where I feel my suggestions can fill the holes if we ever hope to muster a force capable of WWIII. The following people need to report to a duty station within 30 days of notice:

Mormon Missionaries. Largely AWOL from the Vietnam War due to their religious exemption status. If they have the courage to knock on random strangers’ doors to spread the word of Joseph Smith, then they surely have the courage to kick in doors in an urban warfare setting.

Guys named Brandon. Chosen within the name lotto, all Brandons born between 1978-2008 need to pick up a rifle and hop to it. Get your asses over there already, and let’s go Brandon!

Young women with Only Fans accounts. The modern-day draft will incorporate women for a more inclusive representation of America. If you’re young, hot, and fit, better to fight for Uncle Sam than getting paid to show your twat off to some middle-aged weirdo named Shameless Sam.

Lindsey Graham’s legions of illegitimate children. Lindsey’s legendary status as Washington’s ultimate womanizer, he has said to have bedded thousands of women. It is believed that he has fathered over 50 bastard children. Since he’s the ultimate chickenhawk, cheerleading this war from a Fox News studio, Lindsey needs to sacrifice a few of his kids for “freedom.”

All people that use the term freedom isn’t free. There’s no place for these mindless phrases anymore, since they’ve been brow beaten to death the last couple of decades. We lost a lot of freedom the last 25 years and fighting foreign wars doesn’t give us any more of it. Any politician, pundit, or dipshit with this bumper sticker on their car needs to be rounded up and sent to the trenches.

Bert and Ernie. Kicked out of the Armed Forces in the 90s under Clinton’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy on homosexuality, B & E were given dishonorable discharges for being themselves. In an act of redemption and forgiveness the U.S. Government has decided to draft the two puppets back into the service to kill hajis overseas.

Men that take part in Fantasy Football Drafts. Mock football drafts are mere fantasy, getting selected into a military draft will become a brutal reality.

All foreign contestants of 90 Day Fiancé. Why get engaged to someone with American citizenship that is 30 years your senior? Completion of a term of 3 years of service will guarantee you automatic citizenship. Better to risk it in battle than getting married to someone with sagging boobs.

Middle-aged male Swifties. Those who find themselves attending Taylor Swift concerts and Taylor-Gating with their teenage daughters and friends need to get their bitch asses over to the Holy Land and kick some ass already. If you’re a dude that identifies as a Swiftie you’re probably pathetic and effeminate, and that ass better harden up real quick-like if you hope to survive a counterattack from the IRGC. You need to shoot, move, and communicate swiftly if you want to make it home alive for the next Eras Tour. Make Swift Boat Veterans for Truth proud and martyr yourself for the greater good in the Straits of Hormuz.

All people that identify as “on the spectrum.” They can see the incoming rounds in super-slow motion and their mindset can counter any version of Persian subversion. That includes all fake ass mofos with Asperbergers diagnoses.

All Iraq War supporters that didn’t go the first, second, or third time. What are you waiting for!?! You’ve been on the sidelines cheerleading long enough, now it’s time for you to get in the big game. You bitched out in the Gulf War, Iraq War, and during the take down of the ISIS Caliphate. Better blast that Lee Greenwood anthem and show everybody how proud you are to be American. We’ll even design a new MOS for your types called 72V. After being fitted for suicide vests you will gallantly gallop into the kill zone on white steeds and detonate yourself against human waves of Iranians high on Captagon. If you really believe in the bumper slogan Land of the Free because of the Brave, I beg for you to get into the fight.

Rural America can sit this one out since they did all the heavy lifting in the GWOT. It’s time to draft the children and grandchildren of prominent families that live in the population centers in and around New York, Washington, Miami, Dallas, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Seattle. This could give us enough of a cross section to raise up 5 armies. We have over 350 million people in this country certainly we sacrifice a few people born with silver spoons in their ass for the greater good. For everybody else, do yourself a favor and read Smedley Butler’s book War is a Racket. Educate yourselves on the reality of the situation, question all the political propaganda narratives that are circulating, and go to the town hall meeting and scream at your elected officials. War is a gigantic shit sandwich and believe me you don’t want to take a bite out of it. All wars are a war of choice; there is no such thing as a war of necessity.

Brian Ss