Unwinding After Work
You bet your ass it'll be a good time
After a hard day of work there are always endless possibilities for a working stiff to engage in. Most people will head to the gym, to the grocery store, pick up the kids, etc. Others head down to their local bar for happy hour or to the local dispensary to pick up some cannabis. Anything to liberate themselves from the monotony of the daily grind and enter a dimension of escapism. People’s routines rarely change and few ever awaken to face up to what amounts to an existential crisis. It’s what we do in the evening hours that can help us become more exceptional human beings. After hours habits and rituals are what separates the winners from the losers, and we are all losing valuable time.
During the winter months, it is easy to fall into the trap of going home, turning the television on and letting predictive programming dictate our lives. You’re tired, and it’s easy to find fulfillment in highly processed food accompanied with mindless streaming. Television now has infinite programming on its platforms. The shows and movies are never ending and after a few minutes of searching, you find that perfect program that will tell a vision. Time would be better spent doing outdoor exercise or engaging in a meaningful hobby, but when it’s dark and cold out the American way is consuming more screen time. Your pineal gland wants to be fulfilled but it’s easier to spray paint it with mindless dribble than to stimulate it.
After punching the clock for the day, I try to get an hour of exercise (gym or outdoor cardiovascular exercise) then go home for a home cooked meal. Since I do meal prep and am dependent on the leftovers it’s a more efficient way to eat healthy. After those acts of self-love, I finish my adulting (I hate that fucking term) chores and errands, then reserve the rest of the evening for some guilty pleasure entertainment. Once the bills are paid and the work is done for the day, I proceed to take my pants off then fire up the flat screen TV for a night’s worth of BET.
Black Entertainment Television is the marquee channel on any and all streaming services. Not only is it high quality entertainment but it’s much more intellectual than the NatGeo channel. Once those Dockers khakis come off and I’m lounging around in my boxer briefs, half naked on the couch, you find me watching the 57th annual NAACP Image Awards. This is the biggest night for black culture of the year, and I’ll be damned if anything is going to interfere with me watching Kamala Harris’s well anticipated speech. Watching Usher and Shannon Sharpe presenting the Chairman’s Award to the Reverend Al Sharpton has me on cloud nine. Viewing Alicia Keyes spread black love with her beautiful voice, it just doesn’t get any better. The moving tribute to Bernie Mac brings tears to my eyes when I realize I miss his humor and his hilarious black ass.
Every day of the week I have the luxury of being able to watch any Tyler Perry show imaginable. There’s so many of them and I consider the best ones to be the black Seinfeld. Tyler Perry’s Sistas is obviously my current freak of the week. Every other night I get to watch Andi, Danni, Karen, and Sabrina take ebony to a whole another level. Watching these sistas navigate life and find love in the ATL has my white ass rooting for their black asses. As they sip wine with their brown sugar being spread in various love triangles, my sistahs from a different mistah, always have me laughing and crying every episode. This fictitious fantasy lets me forget about my work day and transports me into the heart of black culture.
In true back to back fashion (or do I dare say black to black fashion) is Tyler Perry’s Assisted Living. Peeling off my gaberdines to let the balls breathe I’m fully ready for tonight’s lineup. Becoming embedded with Jeremy and his family in backwoods Georgia, witnessing black family life through the genius of Tyler Perry, has me whooping up a storm of laughter. As they navigate the ins and outs of running a retirement home the Browns continue their charade of hilarity and chocolate excellence. Some people may say consuming this content could lead to a chemical lobotomy but after a hard day’s work I’m always down with the Browns.
Another day, another dollar. After hustling for those ends I do whatever every sensible white man does in this country after a hard day’s work, peel off those britches and tune into BET’s Mancave. Hosted by Jeff Johnson, he interviews the hottest names in BLK entertainment. Dropping by to talk about his family life and side bitchez, Rapper Ludacris bares his soul and confesses his emotions. Jermaine Dupri joins the panel to talk about the current state of affairs in tha rap game and becoming initiated in the mile high club by getting freaky with a Becky. Lamar Odom drops by to about his life after basketball and Khloe Kardashian. Nipsey Hussle and Charlamagne Tha God talk about being comfortable in your own skin and what’s it’s like being a brother in the deuce-six. Unwinding in my own personal man cave with my bare legs and massive calves, the brothas in MANCAVE always put a smile on my face.
Curves has become my latest viewing pleasure. I always save it for Friday nights after a weekly beatdown at the office. Once all of the emails have been answered and I no longer have to commute for the week, I strip down and put on my Daisy Duke cutoffs for comfort. Curves is about three big, beautiful black women (of course their blaq, this BET, ain’t no room for whitey, stupidass) named Leah, Maya, and Rayne. After Leah adjusts to the single life Maya gets involved with a high profile man, while Rayne tries to balance her career and love life. Hilarity always ensues in the subplots when these 3 curvy, voluptuous African American queens get down and get nasty. I guarantee your black ass will be laughing all the way down to the booty hole.
On the weekends, casually lounging around in my robe and slippers, I always binge drink Courvoisier and watch Love and Hip Hop Miami. Things are starting to heat up when Zoey Brinxx returns to the 305. With Joy confronting Shay at the dinner party Pinkydoll and Trick Daddy gotta step in to prevent these diabolical WAGS “from smacking a bitch up.” When things start to heat up between Blac Chyna and Michael Blackson, these two get so freaky in public that they get blacklisted from da club. Gunplay and Ray J always be handling dat business, biz-naz so secretive it’s like black ops. Slowly sipping my Courvoisier and Johnny Walker black all day long, I eventually blackout and can’t recall all the black on black scenarios from Love and Hip Hop Miami.
BET. You bet your black ass it’s the best way to unwind after working your ass off all day. Why go to a session of hot yoga when you can immediately go home after work, peel off those pantaloons, and stream black culture to the max? Netflix has become pure slop while BET is nothing but sitcoms and hip hop. I’d rather be witnessing black history when Lionel Richie receives the Lifetime Achievement Award at the NAACP Image Awards or a moving tribute to Jessie Jackson. Let Tyler Perry and other critically acclaimed Black creators such as Kemba and Kevin Hart get your white ass inspired. Watching The Family Business or a groundbreaking interview with Meghan Thee Stallion will have you forgetting about the daily grind and will transport your mind to a blackhole of quality black entertainment. So quit distracting yourself with those sports gambling apps, aid and abet your downtime with BET. Once you go Black Entertainment Television you can’t go back to Leave It To Beaver.
Brian Ss